How to Unlock The Beauty of Belonging with Ritu Bhasin
By Yuresh Shayzer
August 01, 2023
Welcome to the 'Aww Shift' podcast, where we dive deep into the art of transformation and growth with your host, Anthony Trucks! Today, we have an extraordinary guest, Ritu Bhasin, an award-winning empowerment coach, speaker, and author who will help you turn your hard life into a beautiful one by showing you how to know, embrace, and be who you are. In this captivating episode, Anthony and Ritu shared amazing insights about self-perception, identity, and how to show up for humanity. Get ready to shift your perspective and unleash your potential in this power-packed conversation!
[4:28] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because when you speak, I won't just be listening to what you're saying; you will feel safe and loved in my presence. When I interact with you, it's as if I'm taking you in with all my senses, reading your energy because I'm deeply curious about what makes someone's heartbeat. I believe my superpower is being a high empath, sensing and absorbing people's energy. When people talk to me, they often feel seen, which matters a lot to me because I didn't always feel seen myself. I want others to feel the same. Not only will you experience a good, fun, and energetic vibe with me, but you will also feel good on a deeper level because your energy will resonate with mine.
[6:35] At what point in time did you start noticing Gnosis as a genuine part of yourself and utilizing it as an asset to have deeper conversations and improve your connections and network?
I didn't realize I had this ability until my 20s, when I found myself having conversations with people, quickly cutting through the superficial to understand their true drivers, inspirations, and essence. However, I assumed everyone could do this, a skill I took for granted. It wasn't until my 30s that I started to realize my unique talent for connecting with others. I began exploring body-based work, mindfulness meditation, and healing practices, which enhanced my ability to feel and read people's energy in ways others didn't. Transitioning from a lawyer to an HR leader, I worked with hundreds of people one-on-one, realizing my EQ and empathic nature. By the age of 40, I embraced this gift, owning and leveraging it openly. I don't strategically set out to read energy; it naturally happens. This blessing allows me to form deep connections with others, who often confide in me and express emotions they haven't shared with anyone in years. Embracing this gift has been transformative, as I now confidently claim and utilize it to nurture meaningful connections with people.
[17:00] How did you manage your anger?
When our bodies feel more stable and less threatened, we can regulate our emotions and avoid falling into a state of rage or fury. While anger is a natural and important emotion, as humans, we experience the full spectrum of emotions. For instance, when someone cuts me off on the road, I may get annoyed or frustrated, but I rarely experience intense rage. I try not to dwell on negativity and instead focus on managing my emotions more healthily.
[24:50] Where did you first learn the act of being intentional?
So, the first time I applied this methodology was when I started my business. Back then, I felt uncomfortable talking about myself and articulating my ideas during business meetings. Taking a step back and adopting a thoughtful and structured approach to these discussions was immensely helpful. Over time, I have become deliberate and mindful in all my interactions. It's especially important to do this when we're not in a flow and are moving from meeting to meeting, feeling stressed and anxious. In those moments, it's essential to take a pause and consider the energy we want to emit into the universe or convey to the people we are engaging with.
I was inspired by Jill Bronte Taylor's story, where she developed a heightened sensitivity to energy after a severe injury. She learned the importance of being responsible for the energy we bring into a room. This notion resonates deeply with me, and I constantly think about how I want to positively impact others with my energy, whether it's an Uber driver, a little kitten, or the people tuning in to our conversations today. Being responsible for the energy we project is a significant aspect of how I approach my interactions.
[29:27] How did the book "We've Got This: Unlocking the Beauty of Belonging" come into existence?
Many years ago, I wrote my first book, "The Authenticity Principle," which focuses on how to embrace one's true self amidst societal pressure to conform and hide identities. My childhood experiences as the child of Indian immigrants in Canada, witnessing my parents' struggles with racism, and enduring relentless bullying and racism, deeply affected me. By my 20s, I had curated various personas to fit different environments, losing touch with my authentic self. In my early 30s, I decided to live authentically and left the legal profession to start my own business. However, it wasn't just about authenticity; I realized I needed to heal from the trauma caused by those negative experiences related to my identity. This healing journey led me to write my latest book, "We've Got This: Unlocking the Beauty of Belonging." The book not only shares what I've learned about embracing our true selves and finding belonging but also serves as a healing process for me. Through extensive research and reflection, putting my insights into one book has allowed me to better claim to belong, stand in my power, and embrace who I truly am—a beautiful and transformative journey.
[33:34] Who is the best person to pick up your book and read it?
First of all, I define belonging as the profound feeling we hold inside ourselves, of being honored and accepted for who we truly are. To truly belong, we must first belong to ourselves. It means embracing and accepting our authentic selves before seeking to belong with others. Considering what we know about human beings, belonging is an innate human need; it's an instinctive desire to be seen, respected, and valued by others. My book is for anyone out there who has ever struggled to be honored and accepted for their true selves, especially those who have faced challenges with their own identity due to negative messaging that tells them they are not good enough or they should be different in some way. Whether it's being too loud or not loud enough, facing prejudices based on cultural backgrounds, or any other hurtful remarks that have made them feel untethered and distant from their true selves. This book is for those who have experienced hate and hurtfulness due to their identities, and it aims to address the injustice and unfairness that hinders our ability to belong. In particular, "We've Got This" is for you, offering guidance and support to help you reclaim your sense of belonging and embrace your authentic self.
[37:00] Have you experienced the fear of belonging?
Just last year, as I was writing my book on belonging and researching the topic deeply, I had a fascinating experience with a group of friends whom I deeply loved and cared for. However, some darkness unfolded within that friend circle, and I ended up no longer being part of it. This experience was eye-opening for me because, even as a grown woman in my late 40s, I realized that my deep wounds of unworthiness and feeling unlovable still affected my sense of belonging and impacted my relationships. Writing a book on belonging did not mean that my journey toward it was over; it's a lifelong process that involves continuous healing and growth. As a professional speaker working with senior leadership audiences around the world, I often find myself in boardrooms where I am the only one who looks like me, coming from an immigrant family with a working-class background and belonging to a minority religion. In these situations, I feel my nervous system activate, triggered by childhood experiences of not feeling like I belong. But I have learned to regulate myself, using breathwork, self-coaching, and mindfulness techniques to settle in these moments. Although I'm still healing, I now use my skills to confidently stand in my power and speak my truth.
[45:07] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
He put me here to talk about how beautiful the journey of claiming our belonging is.
[21:04-21:08] One of the most important things is being mindful of what is happening around you.
[23:25-23:28] How we choose to be in situations reshapes how we engage with people.
How to connect with Ritu Bhasin