Gabby Bernstein – Transition out of Trauma and into Happy Days
By Mary Maxey
October 24, 2019
In this episode, our guest is Gabby Bernstein. She is an American author, motivational speaker, international speaker, and podcast host.
She genuinely cares about life and other people. She is not just a product of business success but self success, and through that, she has been able to help other people achieve success. She is also the author of nine different books and is the No.1 New York best-selling Author.
[1:55] Why should we listen to you?
It would help if you listened to me because my presence makes you feel good. My presence enables you to recognize your authenticity and how to stay in your authentic truth. I believe that it is not by my words but by the presence that I bring.
[3:30] When you connect with people, do you really open up to them?
Whatever the reason may be, I try to connect. I’d love to answer this question with an example. I went for my regular treatment, and I connected with the woman in charge of my treatment. I started asking her questions out of curiosity, and she opened up. Through our conversation, the beautiful truth came through. She talked about her addictions, finances, and her family. She didn’t know who I was, but we spent hours discussing how she could navigate her family and her habits. It was a beautiful moment. I’m not recommending that we go about discussing our lives with random people, but I’m recommending that we should be real and share our authenticity with others.
[6:58] Where did you get the energy for that?
I energetically decide when I’m going to open my door and when I’ll shut it. I choose when to talk and when I’m not going to talk. Sometimes, I’m consistently elevated depending on the kind of connection I get during the conversations. It is not always the hour. It may be a brief encounter of happiness or pleasure that people derive when they meet it. I make sure I reply to every person I meet with kindness and compassion.
[10:08] Why is this the right book right now?
Happy days: The guided path from trauma to profound freedom and peace, the book is called. Moving from somewhere to Happy days is a journey, and I had the privilege of undergoing the trip and coming out the other side. I went through a series of mental breakdowns and pain. I was doing all the beautiful things in the world but still going through pain inside. At a point, I had a dream, and I remember being a victim of child sexual abuse. When I woke up from the dream, I was tensed and terrified. I was afraid, but that dream opened me up to the journey of freedom. Through the plan, I discovered why I was always scared and went through a series of mental breakdowns. In that moment of undoing the emotional abuse that had caused havoc on me, I knew I would write a book.
[14:15] Why don’t some people know how to confront this situation?
Many people find it hard to shut down those experiences, some do not even remember, and some do not want to talk about them. Unfortunately, your body remembers it. The way you brush your teeth is even a response. People tend it walk over it rather than face it. Pretending to get over it will only cause a wreck rather than healing.
[19:05] How many times do you find people punishing themselves because of their trauma?
A chapter in that book talks about shame, and it is named: “Speaking the Unspeakable.” The reason why people don’t talk about their trauma is because of shame. Shame shuts us up and makes us think that we are not good enough. Shame makes people believe that they are a piece of shit, and nobody will accept them for who they are, and in a bid to avoid this, people shut up. A lot of people experience this, and I also did. The trauma makes us believe that we are inadequate and unworthy, and we believe it. Unfortunately, thinking it only leads to self-punishment.
[21:20] When can I expect to have any bit of freedom from trauma?
It would help if you were willing. When you have even the tiniest willingness, that is when God can enter. That is when you are open to solutions on how to help yourself. Willingness is the first step to happy days. You must be ready to help yourself. Willingness will help you to know that you did it for yourself. Even when the journey is rough, willingness will keep you going. When you are willing to help yourself out of trauma, God will open doors for you. He will give you the time, energy, and resources. You must be ready.
[24:13] What keeps you on happy days as you help other people?
I feel grateful every day and feel like I have an extraordinary life doing this. Whenever I feel disconnected, I practice the principles I talked about in this book and find peace. I have been able to show up at different times because it is like a mission. When you are on a mission, you are not alone. I know that I am not alone and that God is in me. I know that God is working through me, and I must allow him to work in others through me. People are going through a lot, and the country’s situation isn’t helping, so I wrote this book to save people.
[28:05] Did you talk about skills and practices in the book that will make people believe that it’s, is not just a one-way thing?
Yes, I talked about practices and behavioral patterns that can help you. The book introduces you to techniques that can help you heal on your own, or you take a step forward by opening up to a therapist. The book also talked about practices for navigating your nervous system.
[32:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The world would be shown in a gentle and softly way.
[17:38-17:50] When you have unresolved trauma, you can’t live your entire life running from it, but if you have the tinniest willingness to tap into freedom, you will be set free.
[29:40-30:00] The book gave me the confidence and permission to step into the unknown inside me and also encouraged me.
How to connect with Gabby Bernstein